blue_katie

Today after a long long time I am back. I am back for a very specific reason and as always I am gonna apologize for not writing that too often. I have been very freakin busy and life as I thought when I was teenager did not turn out to be. Ok where was I? Yeah, usually I write for all the people who read my blog and let's be realistic, nobody reads my blog; my blog is like an eraser- you use it once or twice and then you forget where you kept it and buy a new one. Speaking of erasers, I could really use an eraser right now to erase something which has happened recently. 

I am writing this for one particular person, the person with whom I have absolutely no contact, I only have a name, Katie. You see, something happened; I am not good with words usually but that particular person bought the best out of me. I actually managed to have a decent conversation with an another human being after what happened to me the previous year. There I was, my head buried deep into the sand, refusing to see the world, rejecting the anomalies and then Katie happened. I talked to her, made a deep connection with her. Believed that I can rise up again, don't get wrong though, after that tragedy that had happened the last year, I was getting laid consistently but Katie made me believe that I can start again, that getting laid is not the solution to my problem, that I can believe again, that I can HOPE again. I was giving her a big eloquent speech about hope but in reality I was giving that speech to myself. She wanted to sever all the ties with me but that HOPE speech made her think otherwise. It was an online dating site we were talking on. 

Dear Katie,

                   This one's for you. When I got your last e-mail, I was very happy. I had already started to hope, you gave it to me. But then I read the latter part of the letter, it shocked me. I was angry knowing that you talked to me for some social experiment, I felt like a lab rat. I was so sure that we had some sort of connection. But you know what calmed me down? Although I was an experimental subject, I too meant something to you, you too felt some sort of connection. We may never talk to each other, we may never meet but this conversation will always remain with me. I will take this conversation with me throughout my entire life as a beacon of HOPE. Maybe I needed something like this, maybe things with you were meant to be like this, maybe the countless stars in the universe working like a cogwheel sent you so that I can HOPE again. I am not angry, I am just sad and happy at the same time. And you know me as a comedian so here's something for you if you are reading this.

Frog 1: trrrrrrrrr

Frog 2: trrrrrrr

Frog 1: trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Frog 2: prrrrrrrr

Frog 1: dude, don't change the topic.

Ship Sinks.

It has been a while that i had a chance to write something and now that i have the epiphany that i need to write something and i know it is gonna suck. But i know YOU, my readers, which is basically none, which is ironic is gonna appreciate whatever i write.

First of all i need to catch up and you need to catch up with me as to what has happened in my life. You see when life kicks you in the crotch  then only get to know what values do balls have. I am not here to give big eloquent speech as to how life treats and and how you should treat life. No no no, i am not here to do that. I am here because I just simply want to write something and i am hoping that whatever comes out, does strike a chord with someone who reads this sitting somewhere or laying somewhere holding a phone in the hand and stumbles into this page. And now that i have your attention or rather i must say now that i have locked my target i must begin.

Imagine an island ever so close. The island is approaching fast, you command your ship to go slower so that you can dock your ship there which had been lost in the vast abyss of nothingness and water. You and your crew is hungry and thirsty and this island is probably your only hope. Your skin is full of rashes caused by hostile saline waters of the sea, your throat screams "water water" you had a whole sea full of water but you couldn't drink it (such is the irony of life), the mass between your bones and skin are fast disappearing, the mere thought of standing up and looking for the island wants to kill yourself, with each breath a part of you soul escapes and in these situations that island is your only hope and that island looks green as hell. But wait! Why does that island look further and further as you approach towards it? "Am i hallucinating?" you think "but i haven't seen bigfoot yet and when i hallucinate i tend to see bigfoot, ergo i am not hallucinating".  But the faster you go the farther it gets. "Maybe my methods are wrong maybe i need to go slow" you think. You go slow and steady and then it seems that the island is as if extending its arms to embrace you. You go slower and slower and it approaches faster. But wait again! Why is island disappearing into the thin air? It is acting like a holographic image. Flickering. Like the thing which happens in a science fiction movie. "STOP" you command. You think and think and think. "Is it something wrong again?". And then you realise you did not offer the prayers to sea gods. The sea gods must be angry. So you offer the prayers and VOILA! It worked! You look up into the sky. "It is about to rain we must brace ourselves". Sidebar:- Throughout your life you wanted that ice cream the, chocolate one but you did not get, the toy which you wanted but your dad did not get you caz it was made of toxic material, you had that 90% score ever so close but you did not get because you were overconfident that you'd get it, you thought that you were in love and that the woman in your life is the love of your life only to find out later that your life would've been hell with her. You thought you had all these thing within the distance of your grasp but something, something ever so tiny, something so insignificant, something insignificant became something big and something big became something fucking gigantic and that something gigantic took it away. *Sidebar close* Now back to the story. "Prepare the ship for the rain we are approaching the island and we'll be there in no time". It starts to thunder heavily, as if something wants to stop you from getting there. "Prepare the mast! Empty the upper deck, employ all men to the lower deck! Go with the wind! " You shout you scream you empty your fragile lungs off all the air in it just for a single little hope. It starts to rain now along with heavy storm. All the waves, the air those tiny little droplets of fire conspiring against you. Now the island again starts go farther and farther as you approach towards it, it starts to flicker again, but you still did not panic. "Faster Faster! Sail faster! Full mast! Full mast! go full mast!" Now this is a fight for you. All those candies, and ice creams, toys and girlfriends denied to you is coming to haunt you again, they are saying that you did not get them coz you never deserved them, your stomach begins to growl again, your head explodes with each droplets of water falling on it. You know what you gotta do the sound of the thunderous cloud commanding you to stop trying so hard. YOU STOP! You command your ship to go into a complete halt. A huge wave covers your entire ship and falls into you like a billion fists punching into your body. You decide it is time to sleep now. You take one last look and the island disappears while flickering.

"What is this place? So green? And watery? Am in heaven? Is this what heaven looks like?" You see you feel you smell. Everything works fine. You punch yourself. "Fuck! That hurt!" No, you are not in heaven, you realise. "Fuck me! This is Island!"

This is the end. Im not gonna write how he ended up there or what is the moral of the story. I am just a fan of certain Christopher Nolan and he leaves the interpretation to his viewers. So i am trying it too.